Nny's Christmas
by ponderous-protagonist
Summary: Johnny hates this time of year. But when he meets a certain girl, will his views change? Just kidding, the story's about a Mary-Sue and OOC Johnny. The last chapter is what would really happen to such a horrible character if she happened across the homicidal maniac.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I do not (however much I'd like to) own Johnny. He comes from god, also known as Jhonen Vasques. That is all. Now, read my crappy excuse for a fanfiction will you?

~~~Chapter 1~~~

Johnny sat on his couch, drinking a fizz-wizz and flipping through channels. He was aggrivated, some crack-headded caroler had mocked him on the way home; even though Nny got his revenge, it ruined his mood, and the constant fighting between the two doughboys wasn't helping either. When he felt a migrane comming on, he finally had enough. "WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY? I'M TRYING TO ENJOY WHAT'S LEFT OF THIS DAMN DAY!" The doughboys went silent, and Johnny flopped back down on the couch. _Perfect, just perfect,_ he thought, _nothing to watch except this christmas crap. Who likes this jacked up nonsense anyway?_ He shifted his gaze towards the window. _Maybe I'll go for a walk, ease my mind. _Johnny picked up his jacket and opened the door, the December chill numbing his face. He didn't realize how deep the snow was, and he scowled under his breath when he got his boot caught in a drift. "Forget this." But before he could turn around, something caught his eye. A girl, not much shorter than him, came walking down the street carrying a paper bag. She looked about his age, with stormy grey eyes looking tired and forlorn, and dark brown hair cut to a side bang and ponytail. She obviously didn't notice Nny, for before he could dislodge his boot and get out of the way, she knocked into him and fell into the snow. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you. Damn, the decorations broke." She stooped down to get what remained of the bag, then got up and brushed the snow off her jeans. "Hi, my name's Zak. Sorry, but I gotta go, my mom's waiting for this medication." She ran off in the other direction. Nny watched her go until all that was left was a light snowfall in her direction. _She doesn't seem bad, I'll be watching for her next time._ He started off for home.

Zak ran up the steps to her house and unlocked the door. The place was messy, nothing unusual. This was how she found the house everyday after work. Ever since her father died. But Zak got used to it, because her mother was the only family she had left. She placed the bag on the counter and sorted through the broken decorations. Finally, she found a tiny pill container. She grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and headed upstairs to her mother's room. Zak opened the door. "Eh? Oh, hi honey, home from work?" Her mother asked. Her breath stank of beer. "Yeah mom, I've got your pills here, I'll just leave them on the table." She put them down. "When's your father getting home? He's s'posed to be back by now." Zak's smile faded. "Mom, dad's been dead for four years now." Her mother smiled sheepishly and laughed. "Your so silly! Go call him and tell him to come home." Zak got up and went downstairs. "At least she wasn't in a bad mood, like yesterday." She rubbed her arm, which had multiple bruises and cuts. "Zak, remember, she was hungover, it wasn't completely her fault..." she tried to assure herself. She sat down on the couch and sighed. "Oh, why even bother anymore? I have no friends, my mom's a wreck. Every bit of happiness has been taken away from me, the only thing left to do is..." She grasped the knife in her hands. "No." She put it down. "That wouldn't solve anything. Dad would've wanted me to go on, so I will. Besides, I've got mom to take care of, even though she hates me." Zak smiled slightly and turned the TV on.


	2. Chapter 2

~~~Chapter 2~~~

Johnny couldn't get Zak out of his head, no matter how he tried. He figured he'd be fine in the morning, but he felt different. _Johnny, what's wrong? You seem troubled by something. Tell me._ "Nothing's wrong, Nailbunny, leave me alone." _Johnny, don't think I can't tell something's wrong. Could it possibly be, a girl?_ Johnny's eyes widened. _Johnny? Thinking about a girl? Impossible! He hates everyone! _ Sneered D-boy._ Our boy has a girlfriend? Good for him! He should be happy, he doesn't get chances like these often._ "I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! I barely even know Zak! She just happened to bump into me on the street!" _So, her name is Zak. What does she look like?_ "Like any normal person would, tall, skinny, solemn…lonely…" _I guess you've found the perfect match then, Johnny._ "I already told you, I don't have a girlfriend, but SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! I can't stop thinking about her!" _Then go talk to her, it's already morning. Do you know where she lives, or works?_ "Well, she was wearing a 24/7 uniform, so I guess that's where she'd be."_ Don't forget your jacket, Johnny._ "I KNOW, Nailbunny. Sheesh. Johnny walked out the door into the crisp white morning in search of Zak.

Zak put on her uniform and stuck her keys in her back pocket, which also contained twenty bucks and a pack of gum. She made a mental list of everything and then set off for work. On the way, she met a little kid holding a ball of fluff on his way to school. "He's pretty nice, considering all the jerks of today's jacked up society." She arrived at work about five minutes later, and discovered her co-worker already stocking the shelves. "Hey Mike, I'll man the counter today, if you want." He looked up and smiled. "That'd be great Zak, thanks." He resumed stacking boxes. No sooner had Zak sat behind the counter, a person entered the store. She looked up and froze. _Hey, isn't he that guy from yesterday?_


	3. Chapter 3

~~~Chapter 3~~~

Johnny scanned the room and then noticed Zak behind the counter. "Hi Zak! It's me, from yesterday!" Zak eyed him suspiciously "I don't even know your name." Johnny gave himself a mental slap. _Damn! I should've introduced myself first!_ "Ok then, my name's Johnny, but you can call me "Nny" for short." But she still looked unsure. "Why did you come to see me? I already said I was sorry for bumping into you! What do you want from me?" Johnny stared down at his boots and quietly murmured, "I wanted to see you again." Zak lowered her guard and stepped out from behind the counter. "What did you say?" Johnny looked up. "I said I wanted to see you again. I couldn't get you out of my thoughts, it was driving me crazy. So, I came here. Satisfied?" Zak smiled. "I only said my name and sorry, I don't think that's a reason to go mad over someone." Johnny stiffened. He wasn't getting the point across. "Zak, I think I'm in love with you." Zak looked shocked. "And if you don't believe me, here's your proof." He then kissed her lightly and walked out of the store. Mike walked over. "I don't know what that was about, but you can't be all lovey with your boyfriend during work hours." "He's not my"- she stopped short. "Um, ok." Mike walked away. Zak touched her cheek where Nny had kissed her. Then she looked up. Hanging above her was a small branch of mistletoe.

_So, how did it go Johnny?_ Asked Nailbunny when Johnny came through the door. He stayed silent, but a small smile spread across his face. He sat on the couch and drank what was left of his fizz-wizz. _You seem awfully happy, did you kill someone on the way back?_ "I kissed her." **WHAT?** Both doughboys cried in unison. "You heard me, I kissed her, under the mistletoe. Nothing big." _Ah, love on Christmas, so sweet._ _Did you ask her out?_ "What do you mean?" _So you left with just a kiss?_ "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? I ONLY FREAKIN MET HER YESTERDAY!" Johnny yelled. "I didn't know what else to do, she was suspicious, I panicked, and that's all I could think of doing!" He lowered his head. "You don't know what it's like." _I suppose not. What if you went to see her tomorrow and just, talked?_ "But what if- _Johnny, don't think negative. I bet she likes you too._ Johnny smiled. "Thanks Nailbunny." He picked up a pencil and paper and started to plan out what he was going to say the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

"-AND DON'T COME BACK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

The door slammed harshly behind Zak, taking all of the warmth from inside with it. She shuddered; one of her mother's 'moods' again. This time, she meant it though- Zak had seen all of her liquor poured down the drain. If her mom was sober, that meant she'd had a bone to pick with her daughter.

It was probably best to leave the house for a few hours.

Pulling her jacket around her tightly, she trudged down the slushy street, careful of the slick patches of ice that appeared here and there. She'd been surprized at all of the snow that had accumulated over the course of the day; at least traffic wouldn't be an issue, she didn't own a car. But snow wasn't the only thing on her mind.

_Alright, so that guy- no, Johnny...nny? What kind of nickname is that? Well, the fact remains that he confessed his love for me at work, AND kissed me. To be fair it was on the cheek, but he barely knows me! Who does he think he is? ...Why am I not as bothered by this as I should be?_

Lost in her musings, Zak collided with a dark figure huddled up against a pole. _Really, this is getting ridiculous, I need to watch where I'm going,_ she thought, getting to her feet. Immediately she went to help the figure up, but a toothy, almost maniacle grin caught her eye.

"Johnny?"

"Oh, Zak!" He cried, dusting off the snow, seemingly unfazed. "You really need to watch where you step; we can't keep meeting like this. But I digress!" He said this rather loudly and enthusiastically, as he pointed a bony finger at Zak; she jumped a little out of fright.

"I made this for you. Actually, I kind of made it because I had to- comic business, y'no, have to keep the public satisfied. But I changed the names to Zak!" He shoved the paper into her hands, his grin beginning to unsettle her. She blinked a few times before uncrumpling the paper. She stared down at it, trying to decipher the poor, jagged scrawl and...angry stick-man? He was yelling at a puppy- oh, the puppy's name was Zak now- before clinging to it and throwing it off a cliff.

Delightful.

"I was inspired my my inner voices. Nasty little shits, but helpful! Had to nail them to the wall after twenty seconds, but they quieted down." Johnny explained, watching her expression change from disturbed to mildly horrified. "I understand that they have very strong words. I'll give you a few moments of digestion."

Zak took those precious moments to come up with a delicate way to ask Johnny what in the name of fuck he was trying to convey to her. Was he really this psychotic? Was this the same, decent, kind of invasive guy that had kissed her at the 24/7 downtown? Did she deserve the knife that was now flying towards her face at great speed?

Wait, what?

"I decided that you were taking too long, so I'm going to cut to the chase here." Johnny pinned her against the telephone pole with his knife, which thankfully only snagged her coat. That didn't make it any less terrifying though. "I need blood. The reason for such a request, I will not share with you, but it is nonetheless important enough that I must do this immediately."

Zak gulped.

"...Do what, exactly?"

Johnny's face seemed to split with the grin he was sporting as he took out a second knife. Zak barely let out a scream before the blade plunged into her neck. She choked on blood for a moment, letting out a strangled gurgling noise as Johnny twisted the knife deeper.

"It was nice of you to so graciously accept my kiss, though. But I must say, you have to work on your people skills."

He removed the knives and Zak collapsed on the snow, twitching slightly.

"Merry Christmas!"


End file.
